I kept smiling as my hand ran over my midriff. I could not wait to tell Hunter. I looked out over the backyard though my kitchen window. We’d been married four years, and we desperately wanted children. Now our baby was here. Chuckling, I plunged my hands back into the hot soapy water and began scrubbing the breakfast dishes I had let sit all day. Will you be a girl or a boy? I mused to myself. Would I have bad morning sickness? When would people be able to tell? Setting a dish aside, I paused and stared at myself again. I couldn’t see anything. But I knew God had blessed us with a little one, and I was bursting to share the news.

I heard Hunter’s car drive up. Hard pressed to contain myself, I nearly jumped down the porch steps as I raced outside. I bounced as I ran, watching him. His brown hair needed a trim; the coat encasing his broad shoulders needed a washing, but all that could wait.

Walking up to me, Hunter smiled as he placed a gentle kiss on my lips. “Excited about tonight, are we?” he asked.

I nodded. I knew if I opened my mouth I would say something and spoil it. I wanted to be inside cuddled up on the sofa when I told him.

Circling an arm around my back he led me up the steps. “Are you wearing that to the Peterson’s?”

I stopped. My brows scrunched. “What?” I stared at my jeans and sweatshirt then back at him.

Chuckling, Hunter removed his arm, opened the door, and looked at me. “I thought that’s what had you all excited – eating out with Sally and Jim tonight for Valentine’s.”

I had completely forgotten we were having supper with friends. Everything had simply paused this morning when I discovered I was pregnant. Hmm, I thought, I suppose my news will hold until we get back. I walked up to him and smiled.

“If that’s not what had you excited, what did?” he asked as I moved past him into the house.

I turned and laced my fingers through his. “I’ll tell you later.” My smile filled my face. I bit my bottom lip to keep from sharing more.

A dashingly handsome smirk lifted his lips. Tightening his fingers through mine, he pulled me closer. Setting down his briefcase, he wrapped an arm around my waist. “We’ve got time.”

I smiled looking into his deep charcoal-brown eyes.

His face inched closer to mine.

If he kept this up, I was toast. We’d miss our dinner date. Not that I wouldn’t mind staying home, but we’d promised this evening to friends.

“We have to go,” I whispered.

“Do we?” His whisper reached me a moment before his lips closed the distance.

Fire raced through my entire body. I leaned in and lifted my free hand to rest on his cleanshaven check.

Ending the kiss, he sighed. “I love you, Leah.”

My eyes glimmered, “I love you too. Now let’s go meet our friends before they wonder where we are.”

I slipped into a little black dress, matching pumps, and grabbed my coat.

We headed out to the car for our date.

“Looks like we might have a storm,” Hunter said as he slipped into the driver seat after settling me in the passenger side.

Starting up the car, we backed out of the driveway.

I heard it. A screech so intense it made my bones shiver. I turned and looked out the window. Everything became slow motion as I turned back to Hunter. Eyes wide, he stared beyond me and then to me. He saw the truck too.

Jesus help!

***

I woke up in a stiff hospital bed, staring at a whitewashed ceiling. My ears itched with the sound of the monitor. I glanced down seeing an IV inserted in my arm. I’m glad I was out for that part; I never liked needles. Wait! Where’s Hunter? A searing pain shot up my neck when I attempted to turn it to the right. Gasping, I quickly set my head back. Not a good idea, Leah, I thought to myself. I began taking inventory: both arms, legs, hands, feet… Then a sinking feeling flooded my body and mind. With trembling hands, I ran my fingers over my abdomen. Deep down I knew someone was gone. O God, not my baby! Tears burned my eyes. My hands clung to the fabric of the hospital gown.

A door on my left creaked open. I glanced and saw Hunter. His face was bruised. In a moment he was beside me.

Leaning over the bed he gently held my hand. “Shh… It’s alright. I’m here.” His thumb caressed my fingers as he spoke softly. “The doctors say your right leg is broken, and there is damage to the right side, but you will heal with time.” His left hand, bandaged as it was, brushed the tears from my face. The pacing of my heart began to slow with his gentle administration.

Looking into my eyes, he smiled. “Atta girl. Hi, Sweetheart.”

Staring into his beautiful face caused me to think of another perfect little face I would never see. And the tears began to fall again. How could I tell him? How could I tell him I lost his baby?

A sob, followed by another, broke through my lips. My shoulders began to shake as more tears rushed out of me like a river.

Hunter lifted both hands and tenderly stroked my hair and rubbed my cheek.

I reached for him and then groaned as another ache raced up my side.

“Lay still. Your side took the most damage.” His voice wavered just a bit. He touched my forehead with his and took a deep breath.

I repeated the action.

“Thank the Lord you are alive,” He whispered then softly kissed my nose. Sitting back up, he shook his head and shut his eyes. “I should have seen him coming,” his voice cracked.

I squeezed his fingers, thankfully without too much pain. “You—” my voice scratched, “You had—no idea.”

“The report says it was a D.U.I. Hit by a drunk driver,” he scoffed. “He has minor scrapes and you’re here in this hospital bed. It appears that—”

I could hear the glass shatter, sirens screaming in the distance. “Please,” I interrupted.

He stopped and looked down at me.

“Please,” I repeated, “Can we speak of something else?”

Exhaling, he nodded. “The Petersons came by. You were out. They send their love and prayers. I asked Jim how they were. He said Sally’s in shock. Her pregnancy has been hard, and this news…

I did not hear anything else. My chest rose and fell with a shudder. At least she still had her baby; mine was gone. My heart felt as if it would explode inside me. I began to shiver uncontrollably.  

“Leah, what’s wrong?” Hunter’s voice sounded far away.

How could I ever tell him? It would break him. He would blame himself, when really it was my fault.

“Nurse!” His voice louder he stood. His hands releasing mine as he turned towards the door.

A cry tore through my lips. “I lost our baby,” the words were a whisper, covered in sobs. Yet he stopped in his tracks and turned.

“What?”

I turned to look away from him. I could not bear the hurt I knew would be there, yet the searing pain that ran to my neck would not allow me to move. I cried and drew back, shutting my eyes against the agony.

He was beside me again, holding my hands. Kneeling beside the bed, he called my name.

I shook my head. I would rather face the physical burning than see the ache in Hunter’s gaze.

He pleaded with me again.

My refusal was coming when I felt his hands on my face.

“Sweetheart.”

I stilled at his touch and soft words.

“Leah, Darling, please look at me.

Ever so slowly I opened my eyes. Tears brimmed in his, begging me not to leave him in the dark.

With shivering lips I mouthed, “I’m sorry.” “I’m so sorry,” the faint voice was my own, but it did not sound like me.

The color drained from his face. His strong shoulders trembled. His breathing became more labored. Shaking his head, he stared into my eyes. “My Love, it’s – not –. It’s not— your fault,” Hunters words were hushed and choppy. “I’m sorry. If I had not—”

“No,” I interrupted. My fingers touched his lips. While part of me wanted to blame him, I knew deep down he was not to blame. I wanted to blame myself. But blame would tear us apart. It would destroy us. I had already lost my baby. I could not lose my husband too.

Hunter’s head fell against the sheets. His frame began to heave as the loss deepened inside him. “O God.”

A stillness hovered around us. I watched my husband’s back tighten, his shoulders brace. He was about to take on the world, for me.

With a deep breath, Hunter lifted his head. His eyes were swollen, and his lips shook. Reaching for my hands, he encased them with his own and kissed them. “Lord God,” his whispered prayer touched my ears.

Fresh tears slid down my face.

“I pray for strength,” Hunter continued, “Strength for Leah. Heal her body and spirit. Help her recover.”

He paused, and I waited.

With quivering breath he said, “Tell our baby we love him, and will see him someday with You.”

How certain and humble Hunter’s prayer sounded. In a moment of great pain and grief, he focused on God. I wanted to be brave for him, but I felt only sorrow.

Opening his eyes, he looked at me. “We’ll call him, Valentine.”

I cried.

Hunter rose and sat beside me in the bed, carefully wrapping his arms around me.

With my head against his chest, I wept. We both wept.

One year later…

“Are we going to the Petersons?” Hunter called from the entryway.

Setting the last plate on the table I answered, “No. I invited them here instead.”

I heard him shut the front door and moments later felt his arms wrap around me.

“Hi.” He kissed my cheek.

I smiled. Twisting in his embrace I brushed my lips against his. “Hi.” Lifting my arms I circled them around his neck. “I have some news for you.”

“You do?” A smile played at the corners of his mouth. “Is this another shopping trip I will be forced to go on?”

My smile brightened, and my eyes danced. I shook my head. “Guess again.”

“Are we having steak for supper?”

I chuckled, “No.”

A playful pout fell on his face. “But I like steak.”

“You’ll like this better,” I continued to smile. Nothing could stop or dampen my mood.

His eyebrows raised, “I will?”

Licking my lips, I bit the bottom one and jumped up and down in his arms.

His perfect smile spread across his face. “Why don’t you give me a clue?”

I paused and thought for a moment. “You’ll see in nine months,” I said.

He froze and stared at me. His hands tightened around me like protective armor. His eyes searched my face. “You sure?!”

I nodded. “We’re going to have another baby!”

With a joyful shout, Hunter lifted me off the ground and spun me around.

I laughed as he suddenly lowered me.

“Wait, I probably shouldn’t be doing that! You should be lying down. I’ll finish supper while you—”

Giggling, I pressed my finger to his lips. “I’m fine. Happy Valentine’s Day, Darling.”

His smile beamed, sending tingles to the depths of my soul. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

His lips met mine, and all I could think was, Thank You, God.